I began to believe or at least live out that Jesus was not empathetic for me, that Jesus was not for me.  That Jesus is some sort of task master that I was trying to please him.  It was if He said to me, 'if this church tanks, I love you.  If you lose your vocal chords, I love you.  If no one hears the gospel, I love you.' My love for you is not based on your success for me.  If you dont get this, that in this moment that everything unravels on us.... you are going to be among the [failed] stats of ruined church plants.  You are going to be shot because you are not bulletproof.  If you dont get that Christ is saying right beside you, I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE GOING THROUGH, you will die.  He walked what we walk, if we dont get this... we are running from Christ, not to.. And the release that we find will kill us.  If you get to that place that the gravity of the world, of this calling, that death works in us that life works in others... if you dont get that Christ is there for you... you will die because you dont find help in Christ.   Somewhere you began to believe that Christ was not an empathetic person there for you, instead He is a person to avoid...

- Matt Chandler

taken from Gravity: the weight of pastoring and the knowledge of Christ (Resurgence)